The beginning of the year is behind me and the start to my year of tasks was more difficult than I had expected. In fact, I have failed more than I’ve succeeded. Why does it have to be like that? Why are people hateful, vulgar or cynical?
Before I went to the States for a year as a 18-year-old, I was more of mousy person who was bullied. I know all the dirty tricks that could be done to a person. After America I not only was much fatter, I also was much more confident. And whoosh, due to the latter, the animosities due to the further did not hurt that much. In those years since then I have settled on a healthy average of self-confidence and I decided for me, to never be that person who speaks against others. Because I know how it feels.
And yet whether it is the loud neighbor, the plain stupid politician, the cad in the gym or the tasteless girl in neon colors – it is not easy to ignore everything. Being alone it might be possible, but as soon as you got company, it seems to be impossible.
So what have I learned from January?
- Being mean (or call it blasphemy, judgment … however you like it) can be viewed as a kind of social glue. It connects, it gets you closer, it shows the congruence of two judgments.
- It requires incredible strength to resist that. Although I often failed, the thought in mind nevertheless helped to question my own behavior every single time.
- Watch out that no one hears you and watch out how loud you are when judging. Quite simply: thoughts cannot hurt. But too loud voiced can. Fortunately, I spared the spared.
Although January is over, I will continue to try to judge less. I’d rather prefer drinking a glass of wine together – that can be just as connecting.